So much of what I write, so many issues that seem apparently fruitful and important, but I can not specify any idea. I tell you what happened on that bus to Iquique, where I met Roland, is seventeen years old, is a fan of Panda, and will consider a career in engineering or systems. I chatted with him a long time, even when we stopped at La Serena and ate at a high school cafeteria gringa with a lady who was also on the bus. He told me that since the earthquake, has to take sleeping pills.
never met someone so lovely, so naturally friendly and sensible, and when we got in Copiapo for a coffee ... stole his backpack. It was carrying your computer, your credentials, all their money for the first semester of college. He could not react in another way, the blood was the face and beaten with fists seats. The assistant, or hostess, you stared with a stupid look and said it was his fault for not guarding their belongings.
I felt anger, then sadness. I was there when he spoke to his mother and then became, suddenly, a child of twelve, and cried and said "Mom, I stole everything, everything." I could not sleep all night, and noticed he does not. Just shaking and looked out the window. I told him I would pay whatever was needed, but he refused and said he would demand, as we all know will not get anywhere. When I got their email had enough presence of mind to make a joke (Ronald. .. Ronald McDonald, he said, his voice cracking.)
He got before I wake up and when I opened my eyes, had an episode of Mr. Bean on TV and looked out the window the blue sea, undisturbed.
All morning I had a stomach ache, a nuisance that did not stop. When I got to the inn and opened Twitter, I got one of the surprises most unpleasant I've had in a long time.
That brings me to the subject of resentment.
There is something against which I could never fight: my own bitterness. I'm the kind of person, the stupid kind of person who never forgets an insult. And not because of stubbornness, or for revenge. It's just one of those defects that reduce you as a person, you constantly revive a phrase that air for eight years, a banal situation in high school, some nagging groundless, seemingly small offenses that can not let go. Accompany you throughout the years with the same intensity of beliefs and moral values.
is related to the forgiveness, I suppose, and my inability to grant it. Not even myself.
But I think I can overcome it, after many years, even after all those negative feelings and has scarred me enough.
Brenda is an example of a primary partner. For years, years that extended from childhood to puberty, then a teenager, we had a rivalry that never had a truce. Although we once were friends, that I visited in her home and she in mine, suddenly there was an anger that made me sincerely believe, for a long time, Brenda was a real villain.
writing is so stupid. Always I had a cordial relationship with his family: his sister, who was my colleague, with his brother, with whom I went with some friends a few times, even with her mother, a lovely lady. But Brenda has always been the sworn enemy never overcome.
Until yesterday, after a chance encounter, I realized that I have no reason to hate her. Not even to dislike me. In fact, I realized that he had nothing against it. I see it differently now, and I guess it's time to see us, say hello and laugh all over the stupidity of the past. I do not look to be their friend, but I know that I consider a good person.
That leads me to think that perhaps in the future, stop harboring negative feelings about people, I think I have hurt. There is a very charming hope we say, and it is still immature and stupid. I only know that at this point in my life, not easily forgotten. I keep a mental log of all the jerks that I have done, and although it is completely destructive, is . I can not change just like that.
And this brings me to karma.
I believe in him. I've made myself so many jerks, and I can not change either, because these are themselves inaccessible past time. So, I guess all I wanted was to ask, you I read, oh yeah willing to enter into a collection to help Ronald to buy another computer. A specific objective and absolute transparency, so you feel a bit like that clean your karma and I also very nearly so selfish, stop feeling bad about Ron.
So ... Accept proposals, my brothers.
Updated:
First, thank you very much heart to all who have joined "the noble cause", for whatever reason (Buddhism is optional.) Secondly, later in the same block of time I'll post the methods we use for the donation. It can be PayPal or bank CLABE, that the "I am discussing with my advisers." Also the option of drawing is quite interesting, and may be a more direct. Clarified that the figure is about looking together five thousand dollars for the purchase of a netbook, so there is nothing we can not achieve if each cooperate with, say, one hundred dollars.
Thanks again!
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